Ramble On: Summer 2026 Edition

  Plums.  Hours spent agonizing over the promise of just one minute more.  Got Titans in my back pocket.  Everything in duck fat.  Funny thing about noncompliance and not succumbing to facial recognition, finger print, face-everywhere bullshit is that that technology is likely designed to work backwards. Meaning, if you suddenly don’t check some box as fast as it wants you to, you’re probably a bigger red flag than you would have been had you just obeyed to begin with.   I don’t have a menu of people to purchase. I barely have enough of an appetite for even just one these days.  Oliver Stone.  Butterscotch chips in oatmeal = 10/10  Bubble and squeak.  Gold paint.  Do you want to cry? Yes/No W.E.I.R.D. Science bias.  Six more months in solitary.  (Insert Bernoulli's Expected Utility)  Climbing fences and walls while wearing stilettos.  Platinum fortune cookies.  Pink frosting.  No.  No.  No....

3.30.25

So many times I've found myself wanting to rest my head upon his chest. 

To curl into him and die. 

Seeking comfort in someone who isn't there. 

Phantom feelings and false prophets. 

I am the missing strength. 

Never promised. Always found. 

But oh how often I crumble now. 

Comments

  1. Curl into and live. Do not crumble, stand. 🎂

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so stupid that I’ve gone back and forth with even deeming it worthy of a response.

    Do not correct my emotions. Do not come here offering unsolicited advice. Do not give me orders. But most of all, do not do any of these things without reading/understanding/acknowledging all of what I’ve written.

    You’ve picked apart my words to make yourself look good/encouraging, but you completely missed the entire message of what I’ve said.

    And you even waited to do so until the day of my birthday.

    I did not mean “die” in the literal sense. I meant it in the way of being comfortable with a person to the point of being fully relaxed around them -- I meant being able to rely on someone. It actually has nothing to do with any specific person, it’s a concept.

    Crumbling is a sign of rebuilding and healing – a sign of emotional processing and moving past traumatic bullshit. A sign of course correction. Crumbling is often necessary and healthy. I’m acknowledging a process, not saying that it’s defeating me. I am capable, despite the difficulty of having to rewire certain things. Basically, this entire thing is about trusting myself again and moving on.

    “I am the missing strength.”

    All I do is stand. Get out of my way.

    ReplyDelete

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