O, Tempora! O, Mores! (E.A.P.)

O, Times! O, Manners! It is my opinion That you are changing sadly your dominion — I mean the reign of manners hath long ceased, For men have none at all, or bad at least; And as for times, altho’ ’tis said by many The “good old times” were far the worst of any, Of which sound doctrine l believe each tittle, Yet still I think these worse than them a little. I’ve been a thinking — isn’t that the phrase? — I like your Yankee words and Yankee ways — I’ve been a thinking, whether it were best To take things seriously, or all in jest; Whether, with grim Heraclitus of yore, To weep, as he did, till his eyes were sore, Or rather laugh with him, that queer philosopher, Democritus of Thrace, who used to toss over The page of life and grin at the dog-ears, As though he’d say, “Why, who the devil cares?” This is a question which, oh heaven, withdraw The luckless query from a member’s claw! Instead of two sides, Bob has nearly eight, Each fit to furnish forth four hours debate. What shall be done?...

3.30.25

So many times I've found myself wanting to rest my head upon his chest. 

To curl into him and die. 

Seeking comfort in someone who isn't there. 

Phantom feelings and false prophets. 

I am the missing strength. 

Never promised. Always found. 

But oh how often I crumble now. 

Comments

  1. Curl into and live. Do not crumble, stand. 🎂

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so stupid that I’ve gone back and forth with even deeming it worthy of a response.

    Do not correct my emotions. Do not come here offering unsolicited advice. Do not give me orders. But most of all, do not do any of these things without reading/understanding/acknowledging all of what I’ve written.

    You’ve picked apart my words to make yourself look good/encouraging, but you completely missed the entire message of what I’ve said.

    And you even waited to do so until the day of my birthday.

    I did not mean “die” in the literal sense. I meant it in the way of being comfortable with a person to the point of being fully relaxed around them -- I meant being able to rely on someone. It actually has nothing to do with any specific person, it’s a concept.

    Crumbling is a sign of rebuilding and healing – a sign of emotional processing and moving past traumatic bullshit. A sign of course correction. Crumbling is often necessary and healthy. I’m acknowledging a process, not saying that it’s defeating me. I am capable, despite the difficulty of having to rewire certain things. Basically, this entire thing is about trusting myself again and moving on.

    “I am the missing strength.”

    All I do is stand. Get out of my way.

    ReplyDelete

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