Ramble On: Spring 2026 Edition

 

1. The Emperor is naked.  
2. Had to explain to someone that we used to have to pay to use minutes on cellphones… “back in my day”. 
3. It’s weird that Molly Ringwald’s character in the Breakfast Club brings sushi for lunch for a lot of reasons…not only is this supposed to represent “rich kid” status, but…she has unrefrigerated raw fish with her until whenever their lunchtime is…which is probably supposed to be hours after they arrive? The original pasta salad idea would have made more sense. 
4. The ability to still feel safe as the country around you goes to war is nothing short of a blessing. 
5. Instagram will show me things like “how to find a banana bread baddie” and then immediately go to “I do not fuck with any burrito without heft” and I think I’ve won? It can’t figure out what I’m into? It’s just throwing anything and everything that maybe kind of sort of has slightly to do with food at me? Instagram’s algorithm has basically just said “Well, she’s human right? She has to eat? Show her anything having to do with that.” #wtfisabananabreadbaddie
6. Jam sandwiches. 
7. Of course I fucked up, too. Of course I fucked up, too. 
8. My heart is filled with soup and joy. 
9. When hair is styled, it becomes a gremlin — don’t get it wet and don’t feed it after midnight. 
10. Catawampus.  
11. Dead leaves hanging like little sleeping bats. 
12. “I need you to be more submissive.” lol bro, I’ll submit when you step the fuck up. Until then, I suggest you start taking notes. 
13. I miss the mountains. And the way the old forests come together with the misty beaches. The little islands that pop up in the dark ocean water, just out of reach. The cold, salty air that feels like new life in my lungs. The reward of a scenic view after a grueling hike. 
14. “Maybe you aren’t insane enough.” 
15. Lost puppies. 
16. Bored out of my gourd. 
17. Shame? lol. Nah babe, I don’t know her. 
18. The sweet, oily, spit-like scent of soft tissue decay. 
19. Playing the valves and veins of a heart like a pan flute. 
20. Is one considered to be healed when the thing stops hurting or when the thing changes? 
21. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich addiction. 
22. lol not antisocial, just anti-distracting-dipshits. 
23. Remember how you used to be able to put movies on iPods? 
24. Done feeding stray dogs. 
25. When buying produce online, the concept of selling it by weight to a single household is ridiculous. How much does a parsnip weigh? Because I’m pretty sure I’m about to end up with 42 of these mother fuckers. 
26. [Sic] in the head. 
27. Waiting in a parking lot and watching people go up to the wrong Tesla because they think it’s theirs. 
28. Of course I scare the shit out of myself sometimes. How else would I find my limits? 
29. Abort. Abort. Abort. 
30. Anyone else ever open Instagram and the first post on your feed has you saying “and that’s enough of that” as you immediately close the app? 
31. I need a vacation. 
32. How can something be so boring and yet still so distracting. 
33. First contact always gets me into trouble. But I see you. And I wish you’d say something. 
34. She’s got diamonds on her thumbs. 
35. Bone broth and black coffee. 
36. Why do I even have a phone. 
37. Tourist season in LA — prepare for 1 in 3 people to have no idea where they’re going. 
38. People are proud when they tell me they’ve never had a TikTok account. I’ve never had one either babes. And I’ve also never had a Tinder account. I’d rather be alone than deal with that nonsense.
39. Fractions of a whole. 
40. It’s not discipline if the only way it works is through deprivation. 
41. Vacillating between disassociation and daydreams. 
42. Greeting the random Peter Griffin graffiti in the morning. 
43. Exchanging letters with complete strangers. 
44. Hell yes miso butterscotch brownie ice cream. I couldn’t be more excited that the generations that grew up watching ridiculous ice cream flavors be made on Iron Chef are now in kitchens and in positions to be making decisions like this. 10/10. Fucking brilliant. 
45. “What in the chicken fried fuck?” Same. 
46. Some things are best left to the imagination. 
47. lol what rules? 
48. A wall of handmade leather bunny masks. 
49. To the man going 50mph on the 405 while everyone rushes past you and gets annoyed — I see you. I’m getting behind you. I’m also quietly saying fuck it, I’ll get there when I get there. 
50. Blue moon.